You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
