just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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