I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
