ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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