I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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