I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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