Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
