we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
