he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
