I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
