3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Randomize
