i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
