I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I think my nap took me to another dimension
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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