Sponge bath it is.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I enjoy the company of your penis
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
