you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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