yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
