my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
