How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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