Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
