What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
