I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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