if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
