I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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