we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
