cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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