i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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