he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
