a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Randomize
