i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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