i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Sober January is a disaster.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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