Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
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Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
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Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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