Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
