we have officially mastered the walk of shame
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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