Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize