He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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