i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
