I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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