he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
We left an ass print on the piano.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
