The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
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