I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
