Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
