Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship