There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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