I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
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I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
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It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many