i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
