guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
last night I used snow as a chaser
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
