singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
