Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
