I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
