I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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