I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
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Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
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Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
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