She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Life without a bra equals bliss.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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