that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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