We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
