Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
