Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
