And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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