Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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