ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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