even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
