I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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