How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
