Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
