I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
