so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize