Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
We got so high we made milksteak
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
i've created a new STD.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
