she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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