who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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