I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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