I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
she peed on how many people?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm at about main and main street
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
