Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
