I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
