And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
